Thank Goodness Chesticled Just In time...

Hey everybody! I wasn't planning on doing a post so soon but I had such a good topic, I couldn't resist. Since I actually have a mild following (very mild) I don't feel quite so dumb anyways.

What I want to talk about today is something that everyone who uses the internet has to regularly experience... those damn picture word verifications. This concept is actually called “Captcha” which should already give you an idea of where this is headed…Now the concept is simple; see a word, write it out. In practicality though, this never quite works out this way.

To borrow a Seinfeld phrase... "What is with those word picture things?"

Now a prime example of this came up right when I was signing up for blogging. This time at least, the word was legible (which is a miracle in itself) but it was what the word was that made me fall over laughing. No the word wasn't "puppy" or "car" or even "dinglebat" it was "chesticled". That's right; you read that correctly "chesticled." Now there's really only one thing this can make you think of... chesticles... I mean what else is there?

Now in an effort to not be too full of myself, I thought that maybe, just maybe, this word does exist and I haven't heard of a real usage. Turns out Dictionary.com hasn't heard of it either, or the Miriam Websters on my shelf. Now then... what does this mean?

Basically it means that there's some programmer and web editor over at Blogg Spot and Google accounts having a huge laugh with his programmer buddies, drinking Code Red Mountain Dew while knee slapping with tears running down their cheeks while they laugh, cackling: "chesticled" over and over to each other.

Now this isn't an isolated incident either and may in fact be just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve noticed a fair few blogs talking about the same idea and I'm sure you've noticed (or not), but Facebook has started doing this verification for more and more things. The other day, I kid you not I had "hairy" and "leg." Don't tell me that there isn't someone laughing somewhere about this. Now I ask you... is it really necessary? Do we have to first strain our eyes and puzzle out like a sphinx’s riddle what these blurry and grainy, distorted pictures of words mean and then only after this realize that we've been the joke of some programmer's frightful game!

I for one think that this has gone too far! No more should we the people of the internet be subject to the whims of the nerd like gremlins in the basement! No more should we be subject to the cackling laughter of a pre-adolescent who can make jokes comfortably in C or C++. I say it's time to make a stand! To send a message and to say

To those webmasters that toy with us in their little games. Together we can make a stand! Together, we can never have to see the words "chesticled" or “snott” again! But only if we can get past the verification screens… to give those people a piece of our minds!

Demotivational Win:

As a final note, I will admit that word verification is necessary to eliminate spam and other automated systems... but still really... really... I mean.... REALLY? Just use real words for the love of snott!

A New Dawn

Hello everyone! My currently nonexistent fans must be ecstatic to see this page created but in any case I plan to have some fun anyways.

On this inaugural and auspicious day, I would like to tell you a short story; the story of this blog's title. This story is adapted from a much beloved author of mine Spider Robinson. Everyone go buy his books (he’s Canadian too!).

The story that I am about to relate takes place in the distant future. Interstellar travel is commonplace; contacts with alien races are familiar experiences. One day, however, a planet is discovered out Antares way whose sole inhabitant is an enormous humanoid, three miles high and made of granite. At first it is mistaken for an immense statue left by some vanished race of giants, for it squats motionless on a yellow plain, exhibiting no outward sign of life. It has legs, but it never rises to walk on them. It has a mouth but never eats or speaks. It has what appears to be a perfectly functioning brain, the size of a four-story condominium, but the organ lies dormant, electrochemical activity at a standstill. Yet it lives.

This puzzles the hell out of the scientists, who try everything they can think of to get some sign of life from the behemoth – in vain. It just squats, motionless and seemingly thoughtless, until one day a xenobiologist, frustrated beyond endurance, screams, “How could evolution give legs, mouth, and brain to a creature that doesn't use them?”

It happens that he’s the first one to ask a direct question in the thing’s presence. It rises with a thunderous rumble to its full height, scattering the clouds, thinks for a second, booms, “IT COULDN'T,” and squats down again.

“Of course!” exclaims the xenobiologist, “It only stands to reason!”

So there you have it folks! From the mouth of Long-Drink McGonnigle to Callahan himself.

Here’s to Bushmills, friends and family and a possible future as a blog. Cheers!

(Taken from Callahan’s Crosstime Saloon, Tor Books ©1977 Used Without Permission – please don’t hurt me)

http://www.amazon.ca/Callahans-Crosstime-Saloon-Spider-Robinson/dp/0812572270/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1268249503&sr=1-6

Empire Avenue Verification: EAVB_LBLHPGYHTD